Back to The Gym.

It's been a few months since I've been to the gym. I jacked my knee (mcl injury) and it took a really long time to heal and for me to be able to squat down and not have the tendon slide and 'kalunk'.

Also, there was a death in my family.

I felt like a deflated balloon. And the thought of going to the gym and seeing my people look at me with tenderness and kindness and sympathy...I just couldn't do it.

For me, the gym is a place to go and work hard in solidarity, not to cry.

The few times I've been back, my friends come over and give me a hug and respect when I say, "Not too much love. I don't want to cry."

Not that crying is bad or whatever...it's just sometimes feels like too much.

Today I felt ready to go back. My coach knew I'd been gone, welcomed me back and said, "Be safe."

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He knows me. He knows what I've been through. He has held space for me as I talked about my brother's slide into death due to addiction.

And so there wasn't any needling...you know..."work harder. do this. go faster. lift more."

Because he knew I didn't need that.

I'm the first person to work harder, go faster, lift more.

He knew what I needed now is to ease my way back in in a way that feels good and makes sense.

And is safe...physically and emotionally.

My point is this. Wherever you are on your path. Be kind to yourself. And may you find people who understand.

And may you move your beautiful machine today in a way that feels just right for you.

xo

Photo courtesy - Martin Rittenberry