One of the best things I have learned from writer and guide Leesa Renee Hall is to unearth and look at your own lineage.

Last year, she led her students and patrons through the hard work of digging into our familial history of colonialism and racism.

It has been challenging, of course, but there is also an interesting reclamation that I don't have words for yet. Something like, I see and stand in my past...but I get to make a new way with new choices based in new knowledge.

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So I stood today in the church of my family in Sidbury, UK. The first name written in the first line is my relative in 1613.

The service left me both confused and at home. The place left me unsettled and at peace. I felt... both.

It was a day of holding both ends of things. They asked my dad to speak on our history during the service. Full circle kind of day as I looked at him, one in the line of so many priests back and back in my family. It was beautiful...and both.

But for sure, I thought of Leesa who taught me to dig and to look and to keep looking and to keep digging.

Thanks to the guides and teachers. The people who invite us to see and be better versions of ourselves. The teachers who teach us about holding both things in each hand and having the courage to take a look.